Roots and Wings

I sometimes forget how far I am from home until "home" travels thousands of miles across sea and sky to embrace me. When I picked mom and dad up from Manchester Airport, Dad hugged me and garbled a "I've missed you SO much" in between tears. I held back, resolving to spare the crowd at the arrivals gate the spectacle of a crying Chinese trio.

For 4 weeks, my little house was sapped in Chinese-ness, which I loved. I awoke every morning to the strange familiarity of home-lingo; a weird cross breed of English-Chinese-Malay words flung together in makeshift sentences that only we would understand.

"Chow san, lei oi Sek mein or this nice min pow ah?" - Mom asking if I'd prefer noodles or "this nice English bread" for breakfast. I'd smile and say "noodles", partly because I'd want to show mom that I've retained a sense of Chinese-ness and that living in England has not changed me. The girl inside me wants them to know I am still me, and thus I choose noodles to make a point.

I see my parents once a year, which is nowhere near enough for a daughter who still holds her father's hand when she crosses the street. We are close knit, there's no denying that. "I love you's" are exchanged all day and chatter is incessant. I sometimes wonder how I've survived for so long without my family within reach. I suppose I've become an expert at repressing the ache.

I live and work here. I am independent. And then WHAM! My parents come to stay and I am forced to acknowledge how difficult it really is. I can't run to mom when I'm hurting, I have to contend with a crackly telephone line and 8 hours time difference. Despite the fact that her maternal powers of discernment go beyond distance, time and space... sometimes all I crave for is a hug. I know it's hard for them too, seeing their little girl all grown up and able to now tie her own shoelaces and *shock horror* cook a meal!

Their trip to England made me realise that in as much as the distance is hard, I am here for a reason and this is my home for now. It is home without my family around me, but God has a perfect plan and perfect timing for all things to come together. Besides, as Hodding Carter put it: "There are two lasting gifts we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. "

My parents have given me both.