Psycho Lobsters Rights Activist

Great conversationalist. We were talking, laughing.... then he said, "Hey, make a death wishlist. List the top 3 things you’d like to do before you die – in no particular order. Just on the top of your head – NOW. What are they?"

I said, “Ring a church bell - like in those old churches where you tug on the string and you fly up with it as the bell comes down.” He smiled and nodded.

I said, “Waking up on Christmas morning, my husband’s arm wrapped snugly around me… our children bursting into our bedroom and jumping on the bed, begging us to wake up so we can open the presents downstairs.” He smiled and nodded.

I said, “Oooh…what else, lemme see….ah yes! Eat lobster! I’ve never tried it and…” He turned purple and cut me off mid sentence.

“Eat what?!” He looked positively repulsed.

“L.…l…lob....ster?”, I mewed.

“How could you! Have you no heart?! Did you know those things take 50-100 years to grow to size? After half a century or more, some fiend fishes them out from the sea and sells them at an extortionate price to some disgusting snob who slurps it up in 20 minutes! Did you know they’re cooked alive and when they are lowered into the cauldron, they squeal? It’s true! They SQUEAL. Squeal, I tell you! How could you!! How can you justify eating something twice your age?”, he glared at me. He wasn’t kidding….he didn’t seem…like he was kidding.

“Mobster”, I croaked. “I said…be… a mobster…. I really …uh… liked… the Godfather….”

Note: Psycho Lobsters Rights Activists (PLRA) are everywhere. Watch what you say. You never know who you're talking to.